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Do you ever have a song in your heart?My love for music began when I was about twelve. We were on our way to visit my grandparents, Mama, Daddy, my two brothers and me, in the back seat of our old Chevy. Daddy was driving, smoking a Camel, it was a warm summer day and the windows were down. I was staring out the window, waiting for another Burma Shave sign. I loved reading those signs.
The radio was on and Elvis Presley was singing Love Me Tender, and the lyrics stirred my young soul. Not in a romantic way; it was more a longing just to be loved. Often, as a child, I felt very unloved. I started paying attention to the lyrics and as I began to understand the message in the songs, I felt like someone knew how I felt. Music had a way of making me feel really happy or really sad.
When I found my way back to God I found a new appreciation for music, especially songs of worship and praise. I was just beginning to get my life together and was attending a small church in Mariposa CA. There were some wonderful people at that place, pulling for me, encouraging me, and loving me, in-spite of what they knew about me. I understood very little about being a Christian. Oh yes... I had been taken to church my whole life, I knew about God, I knew about religion, I didn’t know about relationship with God. I didn’t understand what Jesus did for me and he did it because he loved me and wanted me to be saved. I learned so much about Christ loving me through the folks at that little church. They knew how to show the love of Christ.
I really wanted to do right, to be good, yet inside of me there was always a struggle. Sin didn’t want to let me go. One time I even went to service high on Marijuana. I told myself it was to see if anyone would notice. As I reflect on it, I think I was really testing their love for me. If anyone noticed, no one said a word to me about it.
Chip…Chip…Chip….Love was teaching me lessons, chipping away years of hatred and insecurities
The apostle Paul identified it so well in Romans 7:18-20 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
My all time favorite song (and I have many) is Just as I Am. The words to that song melted my sin soaked soul and to this day I can barley get through it without tearing up.
Just as I am, without one plea, But that Thy blood was shed for me, And that Thou bidst me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, and waiting not To rid my soul of one dark blot,To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, though tossed about With many a conflict, many a doubt, Fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; Sight, riches, healing of the mind,Yea, all I need in Thee to find,O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, Thou wilt receive, Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;Because Thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, Thy love unknown Hath broken every barrier down; Now, to be Thine, yea, Thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.
Just as I am, of that free love The breadth, length, depth, and height to prove,Here for a season, then above, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!Are you listening to the songs in your heart?
Forgiveness means that even though you remember the hurt, you give up the need to punish the other person.
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. Psalm103:1-5
When I was nine, I lived in Shawnee OK and we attended church at 10th and Bell Streets. Frank Smith was the preacher. I remember the building as very large and very pretty. I especially remember the clouds painted in the baptistery. One of the clouds was shadowed underneath with a light black mark. In one of his sermons I remember Mr. Smith pointing to that black mark and saying “every time we tell a lie, every time we sin, every time we disobey our parents, God puts a black mark next to our name in the book of life”. That didn’t set well with my nine year old way of thinking. I didn’t want any black marks in my book. It certainly made an impression as I am remembering it now in my 60’s.
If my recollection is correct it was that same summer we had a ‘revival’ and while I can’t remember the speakers name, I recall that he was blind and every so powerful in speech. He preached one of those Hell Fire and Brimstone sermons and by the time he finished and we were singing the invitation song, my legs took on a mind of their own. Next thing I know I was sitting on the front pew wanting to be baptized. My folks didn’t have a clue that I was going to walk down that aisle and really, I didn’t either. I just remember I didn’t want to go to hell and I wanted those ‘black marks’ erased from my book. Sadly events happened that same year which changed me for years to come. My life became a mixed bag of emotions. I became victim to sexual abuse (which extended over three years) and I was stricken with rheumatic fever and had to miss an entire year of school. My way of escape during that time was to crawl inside myself and ‘remove’ myself from reality. It was my way of surviving. In later years I chose a path of drugs, alcohol and self-destruction-I had a book full of black marks The remainder of that year and years to follow I was able to block many of those memories, that is, until I reached my forties and the flood gates of my mind released them with a fury. I’ll save that story for another time.
People need love, especially when they don’t deserve it. unknown
And this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 1 John 5:11
What do you think of when you think of an indescribable gift or just a gift in general? Society has influenced our thinking of gifts in a material sense rather than a spiritual sense. It may even be safe to say that when we think of a gift, we think of receiving one as opposed to giving one, and going a bit farther, we may even think the more it costs the better it is.
When I think of an indescribable gift, I think of grandeur, something off the charts, something wished for yet not really expected. I have come to understand I (we) have already been given the greatest gift we could possible hope for and as I try to wrap my head around it I am in complete awe.
Consider the following verses on 2 Corinthians 9:15 and notice all of the adjectives used to describe the our indescribable gift.
Thanks be to God for his indescribable gift! NIV
Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift. KJV
Thank God for this gift too wonderful for words! New Living Translation).
Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift! ESV
Thanks be to God for His unspeakably precious gift! Weymouth
Thank God for this gift, his gift. No language can praise it enough! (from THE MESSAGE)
Praise be to God for what he has given, which words have no power to say. BBE
I am humbled when I ponder indescribable and when I realize I have been given this indescribable gift- Jesus Christ. I am unworthy to receive the gift, unworthy in the sense that I owe God everything and he owes me nothing.
Indescribable-amazing grace!
