Thursday, March 26, 2009

Growing 'Pangs'

Last night Russell talked about “coming out from behind the veil and approaching the throne of grace”. I don’t know if Russell stepped on my toes or tugged at my heart. Whichever it was doesn’t really matter, the pain is still very real. The pain of not being emptied, the pain of selfishness, and wanting to control ‘my world’. It was mentioned recently that everything we do is a matter of the heart. I can’t disagree with that; I conclude I need heart surgery, spiritual heart surgery.

See, that’s where the pain comes in. I like to think of myself as a loving, caring being. Don’t get me wrong, I really am, it’s just that too often it’s on my terms. I have this need to ‘regulate’ my schedule. Where does that come from??? Satan is so deceiving, he persuades me that all the things I do which really aren’t important, except to me, are necessary. Things like watching TV, curling up with a good book, spending hours on my computer, etc.

I am first in line to say surrendering to Christ is emptying me of me, and filling me with Christ. Why is it so easy to say and so hard to do? Wow! This is hard, admitting my imperfections. I know (for me) if I don’t admit them they will remain.

I desire your prayers…that I will be emptied of me and filled with Christ. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. Matt 16:24

3 comments:

Ted said...

I really appreciate your blog. especially when you recognize how wonderful my grandchildren are. As for your blog today, I'll pray for you if you'll pray for me. Oh well, I'll pray for you anyway but I would appreciate it if you would bug God for me for the same reason.

Anonymous said...

I am right there with you

My "poor me" act has got to stop and get rid of the "self" centered me.

terrylb63 said...

Janice, I appreciate you so much! Thank you for sharing your life with all of us (me). And regarding your comments on my blog - I had no idea about your daughter.....thank you for sharing that. Hugs to you, Terry