A Song In My Heart

Do you ever have a song in your heart?

My love for music began when I was about twelve. We were on our way to visit my grandparents, Mama, Daddy, my two brothers and me, in the back seat of our old Chevy. Daddy was driving, smoking a Camel, it was a warm summer day and the windows were down. I was staring out the window, waiting for another Burma Shave sign. I loved reading those signs.

The radio was on and Elvis Presley was singing Love Me Tender, and the lyrics stirred my young soul. Not in a romantic way; it was more a longing just to be loved. Often, as a child, I felt very unloved. I started paying attention to the lyrics and as I began to understand the message in the songs, I felt like someone knew how I felt. Music had a way of making me feel really happy or really sad.

When I found my way back to God I found a new appreciation for music, especially songs of worship and praise. I was just beginning to get my life together and was attending a small church in Mariposa CA. There were some wonderful people at that place, pulling for me, encouraging me, and loving me, in-spite of what they knew about me. I understood very little about being a Christian. Oh yes... I had been taken to church my whole life, I knew about God, I knew about religion, I didn’t know about relationship with God. I didn’t understand what Jesus did for me and he did it because he loved me and wanted me to be saved. I learned so much about Christ loving me through the folks at that little church. They knew how to show the love of Christ.

I really wanted to do right, to be good, yet inside of me there was always a struggle. Sin didn’t want to let me go. One time I even went to service high on Marijuana. I told myself it was to see if anyone would notice. As I reflect on it, I think I was really testing their love for me. If anyone noticed, no one said a word to me about it.

Chip…Chip…Chip….Love was teaching me lessons, chipping away years of hatred and insecurities

The apostle Paul identified it so well in Romans 7:18-20 I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do — this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

My all time favorite song (and I have many) is Just as I Am. The words to that song melted my sin soaked soul and to this day I can barley get through it without tearing up.

Just as I am, without one plea, But that Thy blood was shed for me, And that Thou bidst me come to Thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, and waiting not To rid my soul of one dark blot,To Thee whose blood can cleanse each spot, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, though tossed about With many a conflict, many a doubt, Fightings and fears within, without, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, poor, wretched, blind; Sight, riches, healing of the mind,Yea, all I need in Thee to find,O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, Thou wilt receive, Wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve;Because Thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, Thy love unknown Hath broken every barrier down; Now, to be Thine, yea, Thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.

Just as I am, of that free love The breadth, length, depth, and height to prove,Here for a season, then above, O Lamb of God, I come, I come!

Are you listening to the songs in your heart?